Every morning I wake up with a throbbing head. It subsides a tiny bit, but then plateaus all day and into the night, until I wake up again the next day. I’m starting to forget what it feels like not to have a headache 24 hours per day. Since the accident, my subconscious has also been serving me intense anxiety dreams each night. Last night I was overrun by kittens and bunnies. It wasn’t as cute as it sounds. It was stressful and they had claws. The tendon in my left wrist is still injured, so yoga is still not happening the way I’d like it to. I’ve been practicing Yin most days, but I yearn for something more. I feel so immobile and useless. I can’t put any weight on my left hand or it spikes to level 10 pain. My short-term memory is a dreamlike state. I spend my days listening to audiobooks and occasionally writing, but then

read more Wreck

Shaving and anti-feminism

It’s refreshing that we’ve finally entered the age of body hair normalization. From what I’ve read about current social media trends, it’s no longer counterculture to forego the razor. There’s a movement and I like it. As a woman, I should not feel any shame in my personal decision to not shave my body hair. It’s good to see people are coming around to this same practical conclusion. I show my pits in public and my legs have reached peak growth, and overall my choice to ditch the gender norm is starting to grow on me. My husband says it’s cute. The liberation is chocolatey sweet! It feels like every time I wear a tank top and shorts in public, I’m quietly shouting “fuck society!” to nobody in particular. Leg hair is like natural sunscreen, which I also find convenient. Body hair is not about the patriarchy for me. No matter how many gender studies courses I took in college

read more Shaving and anti-feminism

Why I hate the farmer’s market

This morning we visited our local farmer’s market, and then quickly remembered why we don’t do that. I think I’m one of those people who likes the idea of farmer’s markets more than the reality of them. I love the idea of buying local. I love the idea of supporting organic farmers. And I especially love the idea of buying fresh, seasonal produce for less than what it costs in the store. But as it turns out, none of these things are remotely true at our farmer’s market. To begin, all the fresh produce costs more than it does in the grocery store, and almost none of it is organic. Sure, the selection is remarkably better, but that hardly matters when a head of romaine lettuce costs $3. That’s absurd. Fuck that farmer. “Certified California Grown” is what all the signs said, as if that means anything at all. California has pesticides and herbicides, too. Just saying. And where else

read more Why I hate the farmer’s market

The Knowledge Illusion

Today’s Free Daily Blinkist is The Knowledge Illusion by Steven Slomon and Philip Fernbach. I decided to give Blinkist another try, considering I have both a lot of time and a limited ability to focus right now. Blinkist is like Audible for minimalists. Or people with debilitating headaches. Either way, I thought I’d share with you what I learned. We think we know more than we actually do– this is called the illusion of explanatory depth. For example, just because we know how to ride a bicycle or use our zippers, we think we can explain how bicycles and zippers work. This extends to nearly everything in our life. The human brain did not evolve to store information– the size of human knowledge in computational terms is about 1 GB. That means the average human’s knowledge could fit on a 1 GB flash drive. This shows that our brains are not designed to function as repositories of knowledge. This is

read more The Knowledge Illusion

Thrive Market Review: is it really worth it?

I finally tried Thrive Market this month. I’m a frugal person, so any opportunity to buy organic for less is an opportunity I’ll explore! Before we dive into individual products, let’s talk about what Thrive Market is. Thrive Market is an online organic grocery store, where they claim to sell items for up to 50% off. Shipping is free on orders of $49+, otherwise, it appears to be a flat $5.95 per order. You start with a free 30-day membership, and then after that, it costs $59.95 per year ($5/month) to be a member. This is similar to Costco’s model, where you pay annual membership dues for the privilege of shopping there. You can also get 25% off your first order here. This blog post explores whether Thrive Market is really the great discount grocery it claims to be. It would be tedious and not fun to analyze every single item at Thrive Market, but what I’ve done for you

read more Thrive Market Review: is it really worth it?

How to Conquer The 6 Basic Human Fears With Affirmation Tracing Journals

In Chapter 15 of Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, How to Outwit The Six Ghosts of Fear, he outlines the six basic fears. According to Hill, all other fears can be grouped under the basic six. Take a close look at each of the symptoms listed under each fear and identify which fear(s) you most identify with. Fear of Poverty Symptoms include: indifference, willingness to tolerate whatever life may offer without protest, laziness, lack of initiative and imagination, letting others think for you, doubt, using excuses to explain or cover up failures, worry, neglect of personal appearance, over-caution and pessimism, lack of self-reliance, expecting poverty instead of demanding riches, and procrastination Fear of Criticism Symptoms include: self-consciousness and timidity when meeting strangers, nervousness, lack of poise, lack of charm and ability to make decisions or express opinions, inferiority complex, imitating others, extravagance, lack of initiative and confidence, lack of ambition, and mental and physical laziness Fear of Ill Health Symptoms

read more How to Conquer The 6 Basic Human Fears With Affirmation Tracing Journals

Sober hangovers and living with PCS

I woke up with another hangover this morning, which is really disconcerting for someone who doesn’t drink. Symptoms of post-concussion syndrome (PCS) include: headache dizziness vertigo fatigue memory problems trouble concentrating sleeping problems insomnia restlessness irritability apathy depression anxiety personality changes sensitivity to noise and light I am experiencing everything in bold. At least I’m not apathetic and depressed. There is so much in life to look forward to and be grateful for. Like getting over this hump! And greeting the day when my cats will finally love me. The doctors say this will go away with time, but my functional neurologist talks about how symptoms can last years or even a lifetime. That thought terrifies me. I can’t imagine feeling like this forever. I don’t think that will be the case for me, but holy fuck, I can see how people choose to go the medication route and swallow away these symptoms. I feel like I’ve been on a

read more Sober hangovers and living with PCS


I see a doctor tomorrow to address all 17 symptoms I have stored on a Google Keep list labeled “Symptoms 10/2.” It could all be summed up in 3 words: I feel like shit. I guess that was 4. Until then, I exist in the dark. The light is too much right now. Thought is too much. So are compound sentences. I had an apple and almond butter to stave my borngry (bored + hungry) sweet tooth, but now all I can think about is maybe a second apple. I do not need that second apple. I didn’t even need the first. Damnit. The computer screen is dimmed to the setting before it goes black. Maybe that’s too much, too. Isn’t this fun? I can’t even fucking Netflix because entertainment these days is below me. Yes, I said it. It’s goddamn insulting. That or I don’t take advantage of the Search function, which is also true. But nobody is going

read more Fog

On Turning 30

Somebody, please bring me a vegan gluten-free German chocolate cupcake! Today is my 30th birthday and last month I found out I am one of those annoying gluten intolerant people. Turns out gluten is the main cause of my chronic itch (it’s a real thing; look it up) and bloat. I cut gluten out of my diet and presto! Problems solved…or so I choose to think. TMI? Too bad. It’s my birthday. And fuck gluten. This entire time? I’ve spent 30 years itchy for nothing. I thought I was just allergic to all the bullshit. Or dust. Or something equally as ubiquitous. Today is also the day I said I’d officially close shop on FlowMats. If you live the San Francisco Bay Area, this is your last call! Actually, since lowering prices to right below cost–a painful but necessary step–, the yoga mats have been selling pretty fast…kind of. As of writing this, I somehow have 367 yoga mats occupying

read more On Turning 30

66 days and counting

Did you know you can get a concussion without even hitting your head? That’s what my Functional Neurologist Dr. Chiu–author of Brain Save— told me today during my consultation when I learned I most likely have Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS). My persistent brain fog, headaches, and anxiety are all classic symptoms of PCS. Sometimes when I drive, I suddenly freak out and question whether I am on the right side of the road. It feels like my brain is tripping over itself to remember things or recall words. It kind of feels like being just a little bit sleep deprived, all the time. My head throbs as I type this. I keep describing how I feel as having the world’s longest hangover, coupled with chronic back and neck pain. It’s now been 66 days of this shit, but I guess at least I’m not working at fucking Geico. Thankfully, Dr. Chiu is confident I’ll recover with his plan. I can’t wait

read more 66 days and counting