Contemplating a smartphone murder

In the last 7 days, I have spent 24 hours 17 minutes on my phone, which is about 3.5 hours per day. The bulk of that time was texting with my husband, my mom, and my sister. We laughed at a lot of cat gifs.

In the last 30 days, I have spent 4 days 17 hours 35 minutes on my phone. Granted, I’ve also been unemployed this last month, so we could explain all my time-wasting that way. But in fact, the average smartphone user apparently spends 5 hours per day on their device.

Five fucking hours. That’s a solid part-time job.

This weekend I deleted my Yelp account. This may come as a shock to anyone who knows how seriously I took my 2-year streak of Yelp Elite status. But I’ve been measuring how I spend my time, and Yelp accounted for over 4 hours of my smartphone time last month.

This is not how I want to spend my life. At my current rate of let’s say 5 days per month spent on my phone, by the end of a year I will have spent the equivalent of 2 months thumbing a screen. I am not ok with this. Are you? (Download the RescueTime app and start getting a measure of your time.)

After I post this I will be deleting my Facebook account (again). Since around the new year, I just kind of stopped using it. It just hit me one day how incredibly boring it all is. When I log in to see what I missed, it turns out I didn’t miss anything. Nothing happens on Facebook. Life is where things happen.

In a few minutes, I will not have any social media unless you count Goodreads. Life without social media or a smartphone sounds very liberating. Talk about no expectations! No distractions! No pressure! Nothing.

Do Walmart or Target still sell brick phones? Are those still a thing? Is selling a used smartphone hard? I have a nearly brand new Google Pixel XL that I just goddamn bought, but I’m ready to get rid of it and downgrade my device and opt out of all the bullshit. I’ll miss Maps, but let’s be honest. I can look up directions before leaving the house, and if I get lost I can ask for directions. Life was navigable before GPS, or so I assume.

Plus, I’m almost always with someone else who has a smartphone. I think I’ll be ok.

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