This half-empty living room isn’t solving my problems

The couch finally sold. We got about 1/4 of what we paid for it 2 years ago and right now I am ok with that because 2018 Ashley moves on and doesn’t get caught up with extreme frugality. 2018 Ashley understands that the used furniture market is soft. 2018 Ashley understands that in the grand scheme of things, none of this shit matters. IKEA furniture isn’t that great anyway, right? Sunk cost. A common theme.

As of today, our living room consists of 4 stacked red dining chairs in the corner (the glass dining table sold the other week to a guy who didn’t need chairs), a wood coffee table, an oversized turquoise bean bag chair, and more throw pillows than we can reasonably justify owning (we went on a pillowcase binge in Vietnam a few years back). There’s no turning back! Our mission to go furniture-free will soon be accomplished.

One of my leading reasons for getting rid of our furniture is to open up the living room for yoga and other forms of movement (also, a floor is basically a table without legs). Yoga is the ultimate way to de-stress and unwind. I keep telling myself that once the living room is clear of clutter, my home yoga practice will return full force. But as I type this from the memory foam depression of the bean bag chair positioned across from a half-empty living room, adorned with yoga mat and props, it occurs to me that perhaps it wasn’t the couch that prevented me from practicing yoga. This half-empty living room isn’t solving my problems the way I thought it would.

Humans are inherently lazy and I am no exception. Today I got home from work, shed my uniform and work bag, rinsed and put my lunch container in the dishwasher, and poured a cold IPA into a mason jar. Then I sat down on the most couch-like thing we have: the beanbag chair. Those are not the same steps necessary to end up on my yoga mat. But it’s still in the 3 o’clock hour, so there’s time to change course. But maybe if the beanbag was gone, the most couch-like thing would be the yoga mat? Humans will always look for the easy way out. I’m trying to make yoga the easy thing. But right now, the easy thing is blogging and beer and ignoring the fact that I still have 30 pages of textbook to read and 1 paper to write tonight.

I am fewer than 2,000 steps away from my daily goal of 15,000. I look for every opportunity to get more steps, mostly because the more I do now–the thought goes–the fewer I will need to do later. For example, our apartment has one designated parking spot, so we permanently park our second car in the spot, and I park the car I take to and from work almost 1,000 steps away on a side street (our new place is walking distance to his school). That gives me almost 2k extra steps I would otherwise not get, meaning I can indulge in more beanbaggery after work. See? Laziness pays off when you also have specific, measurable goals.

Do I just need to somehow apply this gamification to my yoga? Ideally, I’d love to practice daily, but the problem is feeling like it. I get home from work more or less pooped. I regroup and decompress for about an hour (mandatory), then do homework for another few hours (also mandatory). By the time I’m done, the last thing I want to do is another thing on a list, let alone an activity that takes effort. So I sit. And eat dinner. And read for fun. And go to bed at 8 so I can wake fully rested at 5. Somehow, I need to switch things up and fit yoga in there because I feel best when I practice daily. During work training, I kept a regular practice, but since I’ve been home I’ve lost it.

Finding my yoga practice is like re-finding myself. There is something so necessary about it, that I don’t quite feel myself without it. It’s like blogging or writing. Blogging is my mental/emotional release and yoga is my physical/spiritual release. Perhaps tonight when the homework is done and the IPA is several hot teas in my past, I’ll find myself half-lotus on my mat, breathing into a new routine.

3 thoughts on “This half-empty living room isn’t solving my problems

  1. I totally get this. I’m trying to set up a daily writing practice but I often find a million other things to do. I used to think I wanted to read parenting books but the reality was that at the end of a long day of parenting the LAST thing I wanted to do was read parenting books. So I gave almost all the parenting books away and felt much better. (Except for one which I am currently feeling guilty about not reading. LIfe, eh?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha yes! Your entire comment resonates with me haha. It’s funny to notice what we want to do and what we actually do with our time. Mental-emotional energy is a precious resource. We can only do so much before burning out. 💓 Keep writing! (And reading, when you want to 😘😜)

      Like

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